I saw it first, it stood there proudly
Its glossy yellow hair reflected off the sun
It’s eyes, large and penetrating, laughed loudly
I crawled back slowly; I knew it could not be outrun
Where was mama? I twisted my head, searching for her
My heart screamed with fear, rage, and confusion together
She was crouched low; I could almost hear her purr
It stood there - reminded me of Papa, and then I remember he is gone forever
My mind cried at me to run but Mama was standing there
Then she started running and my brothers started running too
I ran in the other direction, as fast as my legs would dare
I ran for hours and hours and then I stopped, the sky was now dark blue
I was safe
But I was alone
This focuses on the child's emotions rather than the mother's, which is interesting. I noticed the imagery that describes the lion: glossy yellow hair. I don't think cats purr in times of danger, only pleasure. Regarding the form, I notice three quatrains, but the last two lines aren't a couplet, and so it is not so much of a Shakespearian sonnet. It could be another, but I don't know my sonnets. I can't discern a common theme; the cub does not exhibit a base emotion from which to compare subsequent emotion changes to. The first indication of the cub's emotions is its fear, confusion when seeing the lion and looking for its mother. The cub's mentality changes throughout the poem. At first it knows it cannot outrun the lion, but by the end of the poem, the cub does run. This is due to its siblings and mother both running. This could show that when in doubt, the cub follows what others do, especially its mother.
ReplyDeleteCongrats with the rhyme scheme. Even if its not a Shakespearean sonnet (ababcdcdefefgg) I know its still quite difficult to make rhyme schemes and you did a good job with it. As I was reading this poem, I felt it was more like prose. But this isn't a bad thing. Its like a full story, one that rhymes. Like Wesley said its hard to find a common theme, but the general notion of fear is very clearly depicted. Your words create a lot of tension and a scared and sad tone. You also use personification throughout the poem for the cheetah cub,mother, and lion. Especially by using the terms "mama" and "papa". So I was wondering if maybe the theme had to do with the relationship between a child and their mother? Also you use lots of adjectives, and they create vivid images in the poem, I never really get the image of cheetahs and lions, but I do imagine a human mother and her child against something that will harm them.
ReplyDeleteSo with your diction imagery and your personification you create a very human-like story out of a wild animal atmosphere.